I’m in my 30’s, but I still find myself feeling really angry at my father for all the stuff he did and didn’t do when I was a kid, and for how oblivious he still is about all of that. He’s such an unhappy person. And guess what, so am I. How can I free myself from this bitter prison? And how do I not pass this on to my own kids? AL
We are thrilled that Maddisen’s response mentions Dr. Newmark and recommends our book How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children.
Her response is very affirming, gentle, and includes simple and concrete exercises (such as a forgiveness exercise) to “transform anger and unhappiness into happiness and more inner peace.”
She also reminds us that “We always have the freedom to choose thoughts, feelings, and actions that support our well being and the well being of all concerned. We can choose to feel better, not bitter.”
“Childrearing is too important to leave to chance!” This is what Dr. Gerald Newmark writes in his groundbreaking book, “How To Raise Emotionally Healthy Children”. I’ve read Dr. Newmark’s book, and I highly recommend it whether you have children or not! His basic thesis is that all children (and teens and adults – all people) have five critical needs that are essential to their emotional health. These are the need to feel respected, important, accepted, included, and secure. His book presents a philosophy of parenting and an action-oriented strategy based on the five critical needs. It’s simple, powerful, and effective!
I highly recommend reading the entire column! You can find it here.