Are YOU a Professional At Parenting?

Becoming professional means becoming a conscious ­parent—that is, possessing a set of core values and applying them to parenting in a systematic and consistent way. The following discussion involves four essential elements of professionalism taken from Dr. Gerald Newmark’s best-selling book How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children…Meeting the Five Needs of Children and Parents Too!

Image1) Making Conscious Decisions

When parents possess a clear set of core values, they are less likely to work at cross-purposes or to misunderstand each other’s actions or motives. It gives focus to their par­enting activities and increases the probability that they will act more effectively.  The initial step in making the five critical needs of children an effective part of family life is to solidify this intent with the following conscious decisions:

Adopting the Five Critical Needs

I will adopt the five critical needs as core values to guide my behavior as follows:

1. By treating my children with as much respect as I would want to receive and give.

2. By treating my children in ways that enhance their feeling of being important.

3. By accepting my children as unique, independent indi­viduals entitled to their own ideas, feelings, thoughts, and opinions.

4. By helping my children feel a sense of community—creating family activities in which they are involved and viewing our family as a “Learning Community.”

5. By increasing my children’s feeling of security through role-modeling a loving, respectful relationship with my spouse or, if a single parent, with the significant others in my life.

2) Having a Game Plan

Changing habits or starting new habits is not easy. Many good intentions break down because they never get converted to action.  The idea is to make a commitment and get started immediately, even if only in a small way. As you gradually start doing things in a more systematic way, it will become easier and you will want to do more.

3) Becoming a Student of Your Own Behavior

Asking one another for feedback is rare among family members, nor does it occur to parents to have regular family feedback sessions to talk about what’s happening in their lives and how to make them better. Cultivate a positive attitude (all feedback is useful).  View criticism as an act of friendship and concern, not hostility.  If you agree with it, use it to take positive ­action.  If you disagree, take the opportunity to clarify and clear the air.  Engaging in the feedback activities has the potential for being one of the most interesting and valuable experiences of family life.  In a future article we’ll provide a tool for studying your own behavior.

 4) Having an Experimental Attitude

Accepting life as one big experiment, the family becomes a fertile and special laboratory to conduct your very own re­search on how to create an emotionally healthy environment in which the individuals are both the experimenters and the subjects.  As you look at your own behavior and identify something you did well, you might then choose to try different ways to expand on this or, for something you didn’t do well, ways to improve. Starting family meetings early in the process is important. This is where you emphasize the concept of the family as a community and what that means in terms of responsibilities to one another and for one’s own well-being.

In this article, we stressed the importance of becoming a conscious, thoughtful parent, of not leaving parenting to chance. The goal of developing emotionally healthy children involves making your child’s emotional needs a priority, ap­plying the four elements of professionalism as a strategy, and maintaining a balanced lifestyle by not neglecting your own personal needs. 

Satisfying a child’s five critical emotional needs will enable them to become self-confident, independent, responsible, thinking, caring and civic-minded individuals.

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children is available in paperback and ebook in both English and Spanish.

***Visit us at The Children’s Project, LIKE us on Facebook, or follow us on on Twitter!***

A Refreshing Perspective from a Daddy Blogger

From the first moments we see our children (and hold them in our arms), we want to make sure that we are doing whatever we can to give them the best shot at a healthy, happy life.

            -Don, DaddyNewbie.com

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This is how Don from DaddyNewbie.com begins his review of How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children on his blog.

He goes on to say about the Five Critical Emotional Needs identified in the book, “Dr. Newmark also does a really good job of discussing why all these things are essential for every child, what you can do to ensure that these needs are met, and how these factors evolve through the growth and development of every child.”

Don’s conclusion?

 I highly recommend adding this book to your arsenal of resources.

It was refreshing to read a review from the perspective of a father. Don talks about his experiences and uses metaphors that some fathers (AND mothers) might be more likely to relate to. To see some examples, read the rest of Don’s review HERE!

Don is from St. Louis, Missouri  a father of two, and the Founder & CEO of DaddyNewbie.com

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children is available in paperback and ebook in both English and Spanish.

***Visit us at The Children’s Project, LIKE us on Facebook, or follow us on on Twitter!***

“Go to church, never get in trouble, & father always knows best?”: An ’emotionally healthy’ book review & giveaway

A book review of How
to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children
from Far from
Camelot

Part of the reason I
accepted this book to review was because I felt like I did not
receive an emotionally healthy upbringing.

My childhood was nourished in a bubble of fantasy – to
this day my parents refuse to accept the reality of today’s
society. They grew up in the idyllic 1950′s and they raised me in
that same atmosphere as well. They had three rules: go to church,
never get in trouble, and father always knows best.

20130807-081755.jpg This is all fine and dandy until the child becomes
a teenager with a will of her own. What do you do when you want to
break out of your sheltered existence to experience the real world
but your parents tell you their experiences ended negatively so you
must stay inside where it is safe? I was never trusted, always
guilty until proven innocent. Eventually I got tired of fighting
for my innocence and the opportunity to enjoy the fun of a
teenager’s life. I didn’t get into drugs or get knocked up at 16,
but I did do a lot of other stupid stuff. Stuff that is really
child’s play in the world of today’s teenagers. At one point my
parents took me to see a therapist, who sided with them in every
instance, in hopes that I would “see the errors” of my ways. Oh
yeah, that sure happened! Continue
reading for full review and book giveaway!
Our
book How
to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children
is
available from Amazon paperback
and in both English and
Spanish.
***As always, you can visit us at The Children’s
Project
website, LIKE us on Facebook,
or follow
us
on on Twitter!***

LOVE is an action word

20130801-215310.jpg
In How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children, Dr. Gerald Newmark defines the five critical emotional needs of children – and parents, too – as:

    The need to feel INCLUDED
    The need to feel RESPECTED
    The need to feel IMPORTANT
    The need to feel ACCEPTED
    The need to feel SECURE

Perhaps you have asked yourself, “What about love? Why hasn’t love been included as one of the five critical needs of children?” It was omitted purposefully, not because it lacks importance—on the contrary, it is extremely important—but rather because the word “love” has lost some of its force and meaning through overuse and misuse.

In many cases, saying the words “I love you” has become trite, meaningless, or confusing. In a scene from the movie Nuts, a conversation takes place between a mother and her estranged daughter: The mother says to the daughter, “You know we love you sweetheart, don’t you? Didn’t we always tell you we loved you?” To which the daughter replies angrily, “Love? What do you know about love? You told me you loved me, but you never showed me you did.” Yes, there is a difference.

There are parents who abuse or neglect their children and then say, “I love you,” thinking it makes up for their behavior. Too often, love is equated with saying “I love you.” If saying “I love you” were enough, we might not have such a high divorce rate. Marriages don’t break up because a spouse stops saying “I love you.” They break up because spouses quit treating each other in a loving way.

Most parents love their children or so we assume. However, we cannot assume from this that most parents act in a loving way. Dr. Newmark’s answer to “What about love?” is that loving your child is essential and saying “I love you” is important, but neither is sufficient unless you act in a loving way. That is why he defines “acting in a loving way” as relating to children in ways that make the child feel respected, important, accepted, included, and secure—that’s the best way to say, “I love you.”

Our book How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children is available from Amazon in paperback and Kindle ebook in both English and Spanish.

***As always, you can visit us at The Children’s Project website, LIKE us on Facebook, or follow us on on Twitter!***

Children’s Need to Feel SECURE: One of the Five Critical Emotional Needs according to Dr. Gerald Newmark

“Security means creating a positive environment where people care about one another and show it; where people express themselves and others listen; where differences are accepted and conflicts are resolved constructively; where enough structure and rules exist for children to feel safe and protected, and where children have opportunities to actively participate in their own evolution and that of the family.” (MORE)

The above is from a guest post written by Dr. Gerald Newmark (author of How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children ) for North Texas Kids’ blog.

Dr. Newmark outlines important elements that contribute to a child feeling secure. The following is an example:

“Traditions & Rituals – Establishing traditions and rituals to celebrate events give children a sense of stability and security, as well as family activities.”

For more practical suggestions and to read Dr. Newmark’s entire guest post CLICK HERE

(Read about the other CRITICAL EMOTIONAL NEEDS, including the need to feel respected and included).

***As always, you can visit us at The Children’s Project website, LIKE us on Facebook, or follow us on on Twitter!***

Our book How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children is available from Amazon in paperback and Kindle ebook in both English and Spanish.

The Missing Agenda – Unveiled: A Glowing Review by Maddisen Krown

The Missing Agenda – Unveiled: A Glowing Review by Maddisen Krown

Our book How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children just received an amazing review on Amazon by Huffington Post columnist and Life Coach Maddisen K. Krown (whose advice column we featured in our last post.) She calls the book…

A great work, a parenting bible, and a program that as Dr. Newmark says, “might just change the world.”

DZN_readingGo to Amazon.com to read the review and purchase a paperback copy or ebook ($2.99) of the book.

***As always, you can visit us at The Children’s Project website, LIKE us on Facebook, or follow us on on Twitter!***

Memorial Day Weekend: Download our e-book for FREE in English or Spanish

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children Click image to go to Amazon and Download!

Limited Time Offer

Saturday, May 25th until Monday, May 27th TUESDAY, May 28th ONLY! *Extended by 1 day!*

How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children is a best-selling parenting book by Gerald Newmark, PhD, shows parents and teachers how to nourish emotional health at home and at school.

DOWNLOAD ENGLISH EDITION

PARA EDICION ESPANOL

You do not need a kindle device to read the book. A Kindle Reader can be downloaded to any PC, Mac, or smart phone for FREE.

To read more about how to view the book on your device, go to Amazon’s website.

“I predict that this book will be the
highly accepted Dr. Spock manual for properly
raising emotionally healthy children in the 21st Century.”
— Lewis Yablonsky, Ph.D